Chardonnay & Muscle Relaxants

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I have run from many things – tax collectors, rabid dogs and pushy salespeople. When people ask me why I run for sport I usually reply with, “It’s something I enjoy.” But it’s usually in kilometre 30-something of a marathon or on a steep, rocky, technical section of trail run that I question my reasoning.

Take my first marathon for example – the Bela Bela marathon. Bela Bela is hotter than Megan Fox in a swimsuit and includes hills that are like the mafia – they break legs. While toiling away I thought to myself, “When does the fun come into this?” If you look at two photos, one of people riding go-karts and one of people in the last few kilometres of a marathon, you can bet your pay cheque that the people riding in go-karts look like they are enjoying it more than the runner who is sweating like a teenager before a pregnancy test.

Yes there was that proud moment when I finished. I was also pleasantly surprised by my post-run pairing of chardonnay and muscle relaxants, but I am sure that not even Stephen King novels read on LSD will induce more nightmares than the thought of the last few kilometres of that race.

My second marathon was completed in January and though the route was easier than the hilly Bela Bela run, it was by no means a walk in the park. My plan was to run slowly and keep my heart rate low on lap one, reasoning that if I did not over-do it I would still have something in reserve for lap 2.

My plan worked out about as well as a Home Affairs worker in a heat wave. With 15km to go I hit a wall (not literally) and just couldn’t pick up the pace at all. As a result, I finished about ten minutes slower than I had planned.

Now I am questioning my “do something big before you turn 30” decision to enter both Iron Man and Comrades. Part of me thinks I should have set my sights lower – like learning to play the triangle. But another part of me knows that you can wail and cry like the All Blacks when they lose a rugby match OR you can toughen up, stop whimpering and hit the road.

On the upside, completing a race always gives me a chance to see which pain medication works best with beer.
Running and ibuprofen

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